We are in a new generation, a generation that has the kind of gadgets that we only dreamed of or never even thought about in our own times. I was born in the eighties, so permit me to say that many things are new to me, each day I discover things that never existed when I was born. Things that were strange to us then have become the norm now. Our generation of Parents are in a quagmire, they are confused as to how to guide this present generation.
When this generation of Kids asks you a question, you have to sometimes take the time to research before you know the right answer to give. This is because things have so changed that you need to be sure you are even giving the relevant answer. You may be disgraced by your Kid if you are not careful, sometimes the answer they seek is more of an affirmation of what they already think is the answer. After all we live in a generation of information overload and this information is available on every platform you can think of.
This prompts me to think that this is a generation that needs Fatherhood like never before. Fathers can not afford to let them Father themselves because the knowledge they might get from other sources may not be what will help them mature into responsible adults.
Children in this generation need a strong male presence to teach them what real men should behave like. We are at a time when the real men should stand up and show the way to our upcoming young kids what it means to be a Father before they loose out. So on this Fathers day celebration here are 5 points that speak to me as a mom on what Fatherhood means to this generation. It is what every child desires in a father.
5 Things this generation expects from a Father
A certain great man once said: responsibility is the price you pay for greatness. In this generation where responsibility is being abandoned like no other, you owe it to your children to show what it means to be responsible.
To be responsible means to understand what your role is in their life and to fulfill that role. Kids desire to see how to take on responsibility from you as a father, they don’t want you to be only the provider of the resources for the home even though that’s important.They want to learn life lessons from you, they want to learn how to handle the curveballs that Life often throws.
When they are confused as to why they need to work towards their dreams, it is you the Father that they will look to, to show them how following your dreams is the key to unlocking your happiness. When a Father abandons the family, a deep rift is created which cannot be filled by the mom no matter how much she tries.
Not growing up with a father in the home, has its own impact in the life of a child, from Drug to alcohol abuse, to depression and Poverty.Statistics from the National Council for Fathering stated that Children in Female-headed homes are more likely to be poor than those who are headed by married couples families. The rate was 47.5% versus 10.9% according to US Dept of Health and Human services.
They Look to you for a sense of direction:
Children look up to their Parents for a sense of what they should be doing. As a father in a home, you are like a captain of that ship. It’s you who determines which direction this ship will sail through in other to reach safe harbor.
An absentee Dad cannot sail the home ship, this calls for not only to be present in the home but to be involved in the life of your family. A family where the dad is actively fulfilling his role as the one who sets the direction and shows what they should be doing per time will produce kids who are more confident to face the world. The kids will find that the routines and boundaries set for them help set their internal values. They will grow up to live by it.
When a home is incomplete, confusion reigns because different values are being infused into the child at the same time and they do not know if its Dads value or moms values that should be imbibed. What often results is the child rebels and chooses to do what his peer groups are doing. This is where Peer group pressure wins over parental control and values. With Tons of information on Social media consistently espousing values that do make for a good upbringing, if the home is not in order, kids may turn to such for advice or seek a sense of direction from the wrong sources.
You will be a King in their Eyes when you treat their Mom like a Queen:
Most Men want to be the King of the Manor, but like most castles with Kings, a Queen also reigns. When you want your kids to look to you as the Royalty you are in the home, then you have got to do right by their mom too.
Most children have an affinity for their moms that are second to none. When you want that respect that comes with being the man of the home, then you must also show respect to your wife. When they see you respect and honor the work she does in raising them, you will win their heart the more.
I never saw someone who treated his woman right that the children did not adore. In fact, it is a known fact that children from abusive homes tend to be abusive too. When you abuse your spouse, you may not know it but you are raising a generation of abusive children. Children will respect a father who honors their mom.
As they grow, it will form a foundation on which they build the type of relationship they have with the opposite sex. When a home is dysfunctional, the children grow up with a lot of psychological issues that stem from how their Dad treated their own mom. Sometimes a man may be dealing with issues in his relationship with his wife which stems from how she saw her own Dad treat her own mom.
Children want their Interest to come first:
One of the first requirement of becoming a parent is the ability to put your kid’s interest first. But we see today that it’s not so, we have a generation o f parents who do not know what it means to be a parent, the Job comes first, the relationship comes first, sometimes even the hobby comes first.
We should put our children’s interest first because it will form the foundation of how they perceive life. When a child feels like he or she does not seem important, they will be willing to go with anyone who is able to make them feel better than they feel at home. Sometimes the Juvenile delinquencies we see are a result of insecure children from homes where the father is too busy closing the next deal to have time for his kids.
Girls especially want the affirmation that comes from their Dads because he is the first man they will ever have a relationship with, her relationship with her Daddy will often define how she views men in life. If that relationship is handled well, we often have a girl that is confident and able to handle a relationship with the opposite sex. She is not afraid to speak up when something is not going on well in her own relationship and can often tell when a relationship is not healthy.
A girl from a home where love is freely given will not be willing to fall into the arms of any man she who expresses Love to her. She can tell when Love is genuine and when it’s not.Sometimes teenage pregnancy is the end result of little girls seeking affirmation from the wrong person.
One thing I have always known is that am yet to see a person who loved spending more time at work than with his family. In making decisions for the home, a Father should remember the kids are the reason he works so hard so he ought to consider their interest.
That big promotion that will take you away from the family so much and deny you the joy of being there when it matters to your child, may not be worth it after all.The good thing about these sacrifices is that they are not forever, children grow up one day and they will always hold dear in their heart what you did to make them happy.
After all the Physical is taken care of their Spiritual Lives needs looking after too:
When all is said and done, they only thing that matters is how you were able to pass on your Faith in God if you believe in one to your kids. God said of Abraham, for I know him, he will command his household to follow after me. The next question you should be asking yourself is; will God have such a testimony about you?. A Father is called to be the priest in the home, the one who gathers everyone around the table to pray for the family issues. When a father is open with his children, he can call them to prayer for issues that are happening that needs God intervention. They can stand together to rebuke what the enemy is doing in the Family and set it right.
It is also your duty as a Father to pray your children into their God given destiny. Children face a variety of temptations in this present world, at this time. There is no better time to pray for them to make the right choices in life and live lives that give God glory.
For when your Kids are grown up and are settled in life fulfilling Gods design for their life, you are a much happier Grandparent. It’s a sad thing for your children to be a continuous source of concern to you when they have grown up.
So there is call to action during this Fathers day celebration for Fathers to take the helm and teach their faith to their children, to pass on moral values for the next generation and to ensure that we leave behind children whose heart is for God.